Let Go Of Being This Kind of Woman

If I could sit my younger self down and tell her three things, this would be one of them. One of the clearest lessons I learned during that strange, still season of “quarantwenty‑twenty” was this: You do not have to be a kind of woman. Every woman deserves the space to be exactly who she is without apology, without performance, and without the pressure to fit someone else’s idea of womanhood.

We all deserve room to breathe. Room to grow. Room to become.

But somewhere along the way, many of us were taught to chase a version of womanhood that doesn’t even exist. A version built on perfection, performance, and pretending. And the truth is, trying to be “that kind of woman” will drain you long before it ever fulfills you.

So let’s talk about her—the woman you’ve been trying to be, the one the world told you to become, the one you’re finally ready to let go of.

This kind of woman has it all together.

No one has it all together. Not the women you admire, not the women you compare yourself to, not the women who look polished from a distance. Everyone is carrying something. Everyone is healing something. Everyone is piecing something back together.

You don’t have to be flawless to be a woman of substance. You just have to be trying; trying to do good, trying to be good, trying to see good. Effort is enough. Progress is enough. You are enough.

This kind of woman doesn’t make mistakes.

Mistakes are where wisdom comes from. Every woman you respect has learned her greatest lessons the hard way. A woman who pretends she never messes up is already making the biggest mistake—believing she’s above being human.

It’s far less painful to own your truth than to have it exposed. Take your mask off before life snatches it off for you. There is strength in honesty, and there is freedom in admitting you’re still learning.

This kind of woman has the perfect life.

Perfection is a performance, not a reality. The perfect job, the perfect partner, the perfect friendships—none of it exists without effort, sacrifice, and seasons of struggle. Anything worth having will require something of you.

You can have a beautiful life without pretending it’s perfect. You can have joy without denying your challenges. You can have blessings without hiding your battles.

This kind of woman never gets tired.

Let go of the idea that strength means never needing rest. You are allowed to be tired. You are allowed to pause. You are allowed to take a breath without feeling like you’re falling behind. Rest is not a luxury, it’s a requirement.

Even the most capable women get exhausted. Exhaustion isn’t weakness. You’re constantly pouring, building, nurturing, and showing up. Celebrate your effort. Honor your fatigue. Rest is part of the journey.

This kind of woman doesn’t exist.

That’s the point, sis. The woman you think you have to be to impress the world is a myth. She’s a collage of expectations, opinions, and pressures that were never meant to define you.

You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to be polished. You don’t have to hide your scars.

Just be real. Be honest. Be proud of the woman you’re becoming—flaws, lessons, and all. And be selective about who gets close enough to see the parts of you that are still healing.

I honor you—not the version you think you’re supposed to be, but the woman you already are. Keep showing up. Keep growing. Keep giving life everything you’ve got. We’re in this together.